You find yourself in a hostile negotiation. The guy across the table has an agenda that is clearly not compatible with your objectives. What should you do?
Of course, you could loudly and aggressively dismantle your opponent’s position. You might start by attacking the moral underpinnings of his platform. From there you might cite historical precedent to demonstrate his weaknesses. You might even attack his own character.
Okay, that might make you feel good, but what would you have achieved? Where would that have gotten you? Not far.
In all likelihood, your opponent would leap up, screaming invectives at you, questioning your sanity and maybe even your parenthood. An outside observer would conclude that neither party achieved anything in the exchange and that the chances of constructive resolution were slim and none.
Try this instead. Shrug your shoulders, smile, and open by saying, “what do you want?”
Starting your negotiation with a positive tone will help maintain a nonconfrontational atmosphere. That phrase (“what do you want?”) would put the focus on compromise, not conflict. The chances of achieving an outcome acceptable to both parties would be dramatically increased.
If compromise is not possible, you will at least have the satisfaction of knowing that you engaged in a professional and constructive manner.